Perception: Part One

This article is difficult for me because I have a message that is one hour long on it. So, to put such a major issue into a blog bottle is quite the challenge. Perhaps I will put it on CD for the general public sometime. Here is the close caption version of my take on perception, the mother of all balance.

Perception:
To Perceive
Consciousness
Grasp
Understanding
Recognition
feeling
Insight
Intuition
Sense
Sensitivity

Considering that we are all Mosaics (my usual allegory), our 'original' person inevitably suffers at life’s hand of negative impact/contribution. Experiences in life at times beat us up but we don’t have to allow them to beat us down. Instead, we can decide to view negative impacts/contributions as gems cased in mud. We must be willing to touch the negative sides of “self”. We accomplish this through Self Internal Examination, rather than issue abandonment or using self destructive additions to sedate the issues. This will enable us to recover a piece of ourselves once considered waste. Each negative experience/contribution presents an opportunity for us to extract from it the one or more positives buried / concealed within. After extracting the valuable lesson(s), we then discard the true waste, the concealing mud. What is the mud? Negative emotions, disdain, shame, guilt, fear, hatred, etc. We wash away the mud with tears of joy, sorrow, compassion. We then reassemble ourselves into something more valuable than the unbroken pieces. Once this happens, we gain healing and growth through strength, forgiveness and perseverance.

How important is perception? Extremely. The way in which we filter or process the cause and effects of life determines how and what we will gain or lose Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually (MES) in life. Laws in society don’t change people, good internal processing (Healthy perception) transforms people. One must “Have a heart” towards change. In holistic emotional self recovery, which is what I share, it is vital to anticipate every experience, as for one’s over all good. INCORPORATE all things which yield a more productive living experiences. This perception allows us to keep the doors of internal communication open. Every issue or experience then remains open for acknowledgment, discussion, evaluation, critique, lesson extraction and resolution.

In my Part Two of this topic, I will discuss the importance of perception globally as well as break down how it is the mother of all balance. Our internal foundations effect our external observations and without healthy perception balance will not be achieved. Depending on the circumstances, we either internally house primarily positive energy, emitting higher levels of positive energy or house primarily negative energy and emit higher levels of negative energy. Healthy perception enables us to house both wisely so that we can emit both in balanced proportions. A healthy mind set or perception is the determining voice of one’s willingness to change, transform. Fear alters perception greatly because for a moment in time, we are seemingly driving in the dark, feeling as if we are blindly facing the unknown. This is why anticipating and being prepared for MES “black outs” is crucial to the process of reconditioning (see seminar work book for details). While in self recovery, it is key to keep our internal foundation as stable as possible and that takes deliberate effort and committed support.

Negative Impact
Any internal or external experience which manifest in the physical as negative impulses stemming from within our internal system. Our Internal system consists of our mental, emotional and spiritual well being.

Positive Impact
Any internal or external experience which manifest in the physical as positive impulses stemming from within our internal system. Our Internal system consists of our mental, emotional and spiritual well being.

Copyright 2006-2007 Ms. Rachel E. Milano of Kekoon Publishing

Feet... Glorious Feet!

Why did I post a picture of my feet? These feet have brought me through a lot of shit. I realize that battles are won every day as nation is pined up against nation, tribe against tribe. I have fought countless fights as a survivor of childhood assaults. I’ve been wounded by long drawn out battles against starvation, rape, rejection, mental and emotional cruelty. Thus far, I have beaten the medical consequences of such criminal acts, putting the side effects of my past in remission.

Today I thrive as one who lives by the rod of “emotional reconstructive therapy”, Unconditional Love of Self. I am living proof that positive statistic are harvested out of crimes against children.

In a huge way, I am new to this world, this thing called life. I am happy to be free but my recovery is long term and yet has proven effective by the day. I am still standing and with this book I have written, the nakedness of my soul, I will run. These feet have brought me here. When I look down at them, I love and appreciate them. I thank God, but I appreciate these feet for bringing me through to this point. Now, I pamper them and I admire them for where they have been.

Life has schooled me, beaten me up but I can not be beaten down. I will struggle for a good part of my future reconditioning from the affects of victimism. I’ve a learning curve hard to match and with it I am soaking up this new world like a sponge. With me, expect the new, unique and unexpected. If there is a void, I will find it.

My story lends a unique perspective on victim recovery and offers a fresh look at the process. Today I have no reason to die and every reason to live. I hope I can be a living testament and an encouragement to all who read and hear my journey experience.

Copyright 2006-2007 Ms.Rachel E. Miano of www.kekoonpublishing.com (all rights reserved)

Reasons Verses Excuses

I've been sharing with everyone my understandings and insights about victims and victim abusers. The question was presented to me in an e-mail from a reader, "Do you believe being a victim is an excuse for abusing people?" This article will reveal my belief on this.

The simple answer is no. Ones background does however provide an explanation as to what series of events led a victim to the point of being abusive. I believe there is a critical difference between having a reason for being abusive verses having an excuse for being abusive. Concerning abuse, there is ALWAYS a reason and rarely an excuse. Here is how I have seen this to be true.

From early childhood, we discover that it is worth it to make an effort to avoid punishment by giving plenty of reasons as to why we did something. Often times, if the parent sees that the reason is "reasonable enough", they will pardon the child, making the offense excusable and without further ado. While this may present the appearance of mercy, it does greater harm than good. Mercy is to provide leniency not dismissal. What happens is that the victim abuser becomes dependent on the mercy of others because they have mastered the ability to give good reason, one that you will pity them enough for, and thus they gain excuse. Another way these conditioning's are nurtured early on is through parental neglect. When a parent witnesses a child being verbally abusive and smiles, acts pleasantly shocked, slightly annoyed or blatantly gives the child authority or control over the situation. The child then secures their right to abuse which is affirmed in the parents lack of discipline and carelessly permissive response to the child's behavior.

Victim abusers, rely on the fact that giving enough reasons will render them unaccountable and hopefully not responsible. This leads victim abusers to believe they can basically "get away with murder". These individuals will first master this technique in their own homes, as a child or as an adult, and graduate to the general public, YOU! Again, using their keen sense of discernment, they will have the wit to know exactly which "card of reason" to play to win the psychological game of excuse, what I call "Wit it to win it."

Victim abusers do indeed have countless reasons for why they abuse others, but in the vast majority of abuse cases, there is no excuse! Victim abusers present their reasons which they believe should justify their actions. They will always direct you on two avenues of reason, what the other person did to trigger them or how their past triggered them, causing them to "snap" out of control (often times repeatedly). The key is to not allow the victim abuser to direct you at all. You take control of the steering because the patient is the passenger! You must be the reasonable eye, being slow to judgment but quick to safe and responsible action. Having been a victim of countless crimes against a human being, and lived to tell about it in a healthy way, I can attest to the fact that being a victim is not an excuse for being a victim abuser. A victim is only an abuser because they lack the deliberate will, determination, self love and inspiration it takes to FIGHT FOR THEIR LIVES! Some victim abusers have gone so far into the world of "the reason is because..." that they have grown to believed their "created realty" and have become a threat to themselves and society. In my opinion, these individuals must be confined from the general public and subjected to the medical treatment they need to get on the path of recovery. (see work book on recondition therapy for more details.)

When do I feel abuse is excusable? When an individual is clinically insane. There is help available for these individuals. There are many types of clinical insanity and one should seek help immediately for the person they feel is a danger to themselves or to those around them. Individuals who do not have a history if insanity may under go a trigger event that will thrust them into temporary or long term insanity. It should be noted, that premeditation IS POSSIBLE with a victim abuser who is experiencing clinical insanity. Even if these individuals should become medically treated with counseling and medication therapy so that they are reintroduced into family and society, they need constant monitoring to ensure they maintain in good standing with their treatment. Always be aware of the sings of insanity and be prepared to intervene on behalf of the individual in need. Never be afraid to seek help for yourself or someone else. The consequences for failing to do so could be devastating and have long term side effects.

Remember, help treat the Human BEING, get in the way (intervene), don't wait a day (take action), take time to pray (according to the faith you have been given).

Copyright 2006-2007 Ms. Rachel E. Milano www.kekoonpublishing.com