Sometimes, when we are living this life, we get confused as to what makes something right and what makes something wrong... as I've mentioned before, pain is always a rod of indication... is the pain incurred to yield restoration or devastation... devastation not to be confused with destruction as destruction can be for the purposes of restoration... pain can result in all of these words. However, pain is not always an indicator of something bad or wrong. Pain, for example results from breaking an arm that did not heal well after it's first break... the purposes of the pain will yield restoration. Cutting one's arm off for stealing yields devastation the purpose is not for restoration... not even to a community... unless you kill that person, that person can steal with the other arm or rob you of your time... thus a thief remains a thief until his/her internal issues are appropriately dealt with in addition to his offenses. This is how we can clearly identify if something pain related is right or wrong. It is difficult to do considering we live in a highly visual world loaded with impressions which promote desensitization. Always research the consequences of any particular pain before inflicting it or judging it, this will change your perception of it's functionality and your accountability to it all together. More importantly, it will sharpen your sense of justice and truth, a balance we should all try to obtain more of. In all, always remember to love yourself unconditionally, beyond your pains, beyond your sorrows...
Next write, I'll share my findings on the effects of internal negative neutralization, something I uncovered while helping others over the years and has been a wonderful growth tool for myself and for them... Love and light to you all!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Opportunity.... BIG WORD!
I've been thinking here as to the message I'd leave today and have decided to post on a most recent experience I've had and entitle this one... The Purpose of Opportunity ... It is more than meets the eye.
Short and sweet,... lol... I think...
Opportunity is presented at times for one to take hold of but it is also presented as an opportunity to realize a missed opportunity. Ever have that happen to you? Where some opportunity is presented to you and because of your resistance, or reluctance, you pass it back or dismiss it... then later, you look back on the positives related to it and realize you missed out on a great opportunity? Isn't that just the worst? Seemingly so huh?
Well, not to beat yourself up... grab the lesson from it and realize that while that opportunity was missed by you, it may simply have been a test of your faith or readiness for something greater still to come and thus it will likely come again and if it does, be ready to be bold and take hold of it. Remember, rather than pass it back to where it came from (Example: no, sorry, that's not for me...) PASS IT ON. That's right, take a moment to consider if someone else could use the opportunity you might dismiss or "return to sender"! :?}]
Thus for EVERY opportunity that crosses your path, consider why it is before you prior to passing it back. Is it there to help you transcend to something greater or set you back to something not so good for you? Is it there to show you later what could have been? OR Is it there so that you can contribute to it and make it an even greater opportunity for the person it is meant for???
A perfect example happened to me this past week, when I presented an opportunity to someone whom "the shoe didn't quite fit"... now this person could have done one of four things:
1) Dismiss it / Pass it back / "Return to sender"... so to speak.
2) Miss it.
3) Take up on the opportunity and endure whatever consequences.
4) Consider who could better use it and Pass it on.
This person chose to take it to heart and pass it on rather than pass it back. For that, I am fortunate and grateful.
I have a saying... It is truly a blessing to be blessed by the blessed... and I look forward to returning this grace of kindness in the future! It takes a genuine, considerate and deliberate heart to PASS IT ON rather than Pass it back.
OOoopsss... not quite as short winded as I had hoped... sorry.
In all you do, be well... love and light go with you all!
Ms. Rachel Milano
Short and sweet,... lol... I think...
Opportunity is presented at times for one to take hold of but it is also presented as an opportunity to realize a missed opportunity. Ever have that happen to you? Where some opportunity is presented to you and because of your resistance, or reluctance, you pass it back or dismiss it... then later, you look back on the positives related to it and realize you missed out on a great opportunity? Isn't that just the worst? Seemingly so huh?
Well, not to beat yourself up... grab the lesson from it and realize that while that opportunity was missed by you, it may simply have been a test of your faith or readiness for something greater still to come and thus it will likely come again and if it does, be ready to be bold and take hold of it. Remember, rather than pass it back to where it came from (Example: no, sorry, that's not for me...) PASS IT ON. That's right, take a moment to consider if someone else could use the opportunity you might dismiss or "return to sender"! :?}]
Thus for EVERY opportunity that crosses your path, consider why it is before you prior to passing it back. Is it there to help you transcend to something greater or set you back to something not so good for you? Is it there to show you later what could have been? OR Is it there so that you can contribute to it and make it an even greater opportunity for the person it is meant for???
A perfect example happened to me this past week, when I presented an opportunity to someone whom "the shoe didn't quite fit"... now this person could have done one of four things:
1) Dismiss it / Pass it back / "Return to sender"... so to speak.
2) Miss it.
3) Take up on the opportunity and endure whatever consequences.
4) Consider who could better use it and Pass it on.
This person chose to take it to heart and pass it on rather than pass it back. For that, I am fortunate and grateful.
I have a saying... It is truly a blessing to be blessed by the blessed... and I look forward to returning this grace of kindness in the future! It takes a genuine, considerate and deliberate heart to PASS IT ON rather than Pass it back.
OOoopsss... not quite as short winded as I had hoped... sorry.
In all you do, be well... love and light go with you all!
Ms. Rachel Milano
Greetings All...
New Years day is a few days away... Now we take the time to reflect on the past year, goals desired, those accomplished and those still in the stages of unfolding.
Many folks will be talking of new years resolutions and making plans to never do certain things again. If you are one of those either planning to break or make a habit, here is something to consider... PLAN FOR ICY CONDITIONS... in other words, bridge may freeze before road... ever see that sign??? ... hmmm... maybe not so much in Savannah... but if you've been in colder parts of the country or driven through, it is a common sign. This visual can be applied in relation to internal wellness and transition or life transformation as well.
Be prepared for the fact that while you may deliberately try to alter some habit in your life, you may have days or moments where you falter or slip off the path of intent. This is human and acceptable. Allow yourself room to breathe and quickly regain control of your vehicle, so to speak.
So you slipped... so what... maybe you even spun clear around... you might even need the support of others to get you back on track and that's ok... don't reject the help when it comes 'round. If your change is for your good, never give up. The time is takes to acquire positive change in your life will never equal the time you have to apply that positive change throughout the remainder of your life. It is truely easier done than said... procrastination is a weak foundation to a well built home.
Give it some time... and give yourself ample time, even a caterpillar needs time to become a butterfly. Remember not to guilt yourself into believing you can't make it... as I always say... resolve yourself to acting deliberately.... until naturally... Love and light to you all... Ms.Rachel Milano
New Years day is a few days away... Now we take the time to reflect on the past year, goals desired, those accomplished and those still in the stages of unfolding.
Many folks will be talking of new years resolutions and making plans to never do certain things again. If you are one of those either planning to break or make a habit, here is something to consider... PLAN FOR ICY CONDITIONS... in other words, bridge may freeze before road... ever see that sign??? ... hmmm... maybe not so much in Savannah... but if you've been in colder parts of the country or driven through, it is a common sign. This visual can be applied in relation to internal wellness and transition or life transformation as well.
Be prepared for the fact that while you may deliberately try to alter some habit in your life, you may have days or moments where you falter or slip off the path of intent. This is human and acceptable. Allow yourself room to breathe and quickly regain control of your vehicle, so to speak.
So you slipped... so what... maybe you even spun clear around... you might even need the support of others to get you back on track and that's ok... don't reject the help when it comes 'round. If your change is for your good, never give up. The time is takes to acquire positive change in your life will never equal the time you have to apply that positive change throughout the remainder of your life. It is truely easier done than said... procrastination is a weak foundation to a well built home.
Give it some time... and give yourself ample time, even a caterpillar needs time to become a butterfly. Remember not to guilt yourself into believing you can't make it... as I always say... resolve yourself to acting deliberately.... until naturally... Love and light to you all... Ms.Rachel Milano
Hindsight is 20/20?
Written December 20, 2007
Hindsight is 20/20... ever heard that? Yikes! That is a dangerous statement... makes some wish they weren't born. I can never say hindsight is perfect but then hindsight is crucial in avoiding repeat offenses and countless future pains to self and others. So if hindsight is not 20/20 what is it? Hindsight allows you to see where you've been and discover what could have been done differently or to reinforce what was done positively.
Hindsight is a wonderful tool to sharpening your inner response network. There is nothing like being prepared to deal with a situation we know frequently occurs, if not, we are doomed to depositing the same negative reactions as before.
Then there is this... when you do a good deed, it is comforting to use hindsight to see that you are a wonderful and good work. It is self-motivating and reinforces your self worth. There is nothing wrong with seeing the goodness in yourself for edification and self love, which inspires you to do more.
Hindsight is the greatest tool we have for foresight. When we learn from hindsight how to be better prepared or see how to obtain positive results, then foresight becomes clearer, your direction and focus become more secure and you become a stronger you as a result.
To determine how to use hindsight to maximize foresight, you must apply Wisdom's insight... an inward look at what balances you. It is vital to Know the extremes you hold within yourself both positive and negative and modify them to find an inner balance so that when it comes time to apply hindsight to foresight it is done in the most beneficial way, positively impacting yourself and life around you.
Lastly, you find the strength to do this from the source of all life, for me, this is my divine creator, what is it for you? Always remembering... too much of a good thing can kill your goals, dreams and aspirations equally as much as too much of a bad thing. A good thing to remember during this shopping season where extreme spending can hinder our future plans. Love and light to you all...
Hindsight is 20/20... ever heard that? Yikes! That is a dangerous statement... makes some wish they weren't born. I can never say hindsight is perfect but then hindsight is crucial in avoiding repeat offenses and countless future pains to self and others. So if hindsight is not 20/20 what is it? Hindsight allows you to see where you've been and discover what could have been done differently or to reinforce what was done positively.
Hindsight is a wonderful tool to sharpening your inner response network. There is nothing like being prepared to deal with a situation we know frequently occurs, if not, we are doomed to depositing the same negative reactions as before.
Then there is this... when you do a good deed, it is comforting to use hindsight to see that you are a wonderful and good work. It is self-motivating and reinforces your self worth. There is nothing wrong with seeing the goodness in yourself for edification and self love, which inspires you to do more.
Hindsight is the greatest tool we have for foresight. When we learn from hindsight how to be better prepared or see how to obtain positive results, then foresight becomes clearer, your direction and focus become more secure and you become a stronger you as a result.
To determine how to use hindsight to maximize foresight, you must apply Wisdom's insight... an inward look at what balances you. It is vital to Know the extremes you hold within yourself both positive and negative and modify them to find an inner balance so that when it comes time to apply hindsight to foresight it is done in the most beneficial way, positively impacting yourself and life around you.
Lastly, you find the strength to do this from the source of all life, for me, this is my divine creator, what is it for you? Always remembering... too much of a good thing can kill your goals, dreams and aspirations equally as much as too much of a bad thing. A good thing to remember during this shopping season where extreme spending can hinder our future plans. Love and light to you all...
Happy Verses Happiest...
Happier verses Happiest. There are some days we wonder what will make us happiest, what place, time, person, or thing will make us happiest because the things of right now seem to barely satisfy the soul and so we remain thirsty for that place... that time in which we aspire as 'happiest' day/moment of life. Sometimes, the options we have don't lead to the happiest times, but we can weigh our options for which will provide a happiER living experience. Neither may be the best or most desirable option but of them we can opt for the one that will be most ENDURABLE, but making a concise and deliberate choice in those options will prevent feelings or regret or resentment from rearing their ugly heads later. Instead, you will look back and recall that the choice you made, thought not the best, was the best option at the time of the choice. So whatever the consequences of your decisions, you can face them head on without the distracting burden of self-guilting.
Remember, no choice is secure. All choices are only as secure as you are internally during the time in which you make the choice. If all things around you should fall, will still be able to find happiness? Could you reach within you and surface the finite joys of life knowing you still stand in the midst of the rubble? If you security lies within yourself, happiness always exists, what then can you make of it as you contribute to your surroundings.
In the end lovely people, it's about making wise decisions even if your options don't make you the happiest you've ever been or even if they may not be the best or most desirable options available to you at that given moment. Never allow the choices of the moment to dictate where you will find true happiness, rather, look inside at the unconditional love you have for self and know that it is the sound and secure soul that houses the greatest happiness in existence.
Love and light go with you all...
Ms. Milano
Remember, no choice is secure. All choices are only as secure as you are internally during the time in which you make the choice. If all things around you should fall, will still be able to find happiness? Could you reach within you and surface the finite joys of life knowing you still stand in the midst of the rubble? If you security lies within yourself, happiness always exists, what then can you make of it as you contribute to your surroundings.
In the end lovely people, it's about making wise decisions even if your options don't make you the happiest you've ever been or even if they may not be the best or most desirable options available to you at that given moment. Never allow the choices of the moment to dictate where you will find true happiness, rather, look inside at the unconditional love you have for self and know that it is the sound and secure soul that houses the greatest happiness in existence.
Love and light go with you all...
Ms. Milano
Forward Creation...
Each moment of each day is added creation. We, are a people partaking in that effort, procreating with every breath we take... adding to the creative forces in our uniquely ordained ways.
If you could, take a moment to consider, that all life from the beginning of time has come up to this moment, inside of you... inside of each of us. All of creation has come up to this moment! It is amazing how far we've come not only as a people but as a world. The possibility that nothing exists beyond this moment seems impossible but in fact, as we evolve throughout this day, we are actively advancing through and with creation process, becoming the history of tomorrow.
By living deliberately, we consciously bring the past forward and compare it to prior knowledge, experience and ways of responding, so that we can determine how best to meld it with the present experience. Once we have responded, it is good to take a moment to reflect on what we have contributed to the new day, hour... moment. Living deliberately is the way in which we pause and consider how to positively impact our contribution to the next moment. It is so important for us all to realize that we are each woven together and my contribution and yours will directly impact each of our living experiences on a grand scale.
When we fall short of living deliberately, we DEFAULT to a subconscious living experience by responding based on our current state of survival which is simply our past brought forward. This leaves us to responding based on preconditioned behaviors, ideas, traditions and comforts. Some of these ways may be fine to live by but not so fine to develop and grow by (thrive). Slowing down or stretching the band with of time prior to making a decision in life or what is known as taking the next step, we give ourselves the opportunity to weigh the pros and cons of that next step. I like to say, this gives us a clearer vantage point on the circumstance we are faced with enabling us to weigh the appropriate and most effective response to the situation.
Doing this takes patience and grace given to ourselves and by the 'body', all of us. I challenge and encourage each of us to pursuit the passion of full participation in this our life creation. Living out your purpose in awareness with a conscious response to today will add to all of our abilities to thrive in this place in which we survive.
Love and light go with all...
Ms. Rachel Milano
If you could, take a moment to consider, that all life from the beginning of time has come up to this moment, inside of you... inside of each of us. All of creation has come up to this moment! It is amazing how far we've come not only as a people but as a world. The possibility that nothing exists beyond this moment seems impossible but in fact, as we evolve throughout this day, we are actively advancing through and with creation process, becoming the history of tomorrow.
By living deliberately, we consciously bring the past forward and compare it to prior knowledge, experience and ways of responding, so that we can determine how best to meld it with the present experience. Once we have responded, it is good to take a moment to reflect on what we have contributed to the new day, hour... moment. Living deliberately is the way in which we pause and consider how to positively impact our contribution to the next moment. It is so important for us all to realize that we are each woven together and my contribution and yours will directly impact each of our living experiences on a grand scale.
When we fall short of living deliberately, we DEFAULT to a subconscious living experience by responding based on our current state of survival which is simply our past brought forward. This leaves us to responding based on preconditioned behaviors, ideas, traditions and comforts. Some of these ways may be fine to live by but not so fine to develop and grow by (thrive). Slowing down or stretching the band with of time prior to making a decision in life or what is known as taking the next step, we give ourselves the opportunity to weigh the pros and cons of that next step. I like to say, this gives us a clearer vantage point on the circumstance we are faced with enabling us to weigh the appropriate and most effective response to the situation.
Doing this takes patience and grace given to ourselves and by the 'body', all of us. I challenge and encourage each of us to pursuit the passion of full participation in this our life creation. Living out your purpose in awareness with a conscious response to today will add to all of our abilities to thrive in this place in which we survive.
Love and light go with all...
Ms. Rachel Milano
The Funny Thing About Time...
I woke up this morning thinking about each of you and just believing great things for you. Time, time... time... never seems to be enough time in 'our' mindsets... lol. I remember when I came back from Nigeria, we left Christmas morning and arrived in the US Christmas morning!
Funny thing about time, we operate in perfect time. That year was Y2K year, we raced home for fear we'd not get home if something happened with the Y2K scare. The kids were missing Christmas. We arrived in Holland before landing home in the US... the holiday decorations at that airport were most splendid! Like a fairy tail... kind of lifted the mood for the children, but for me, reminded me of what I was loosing in time. But when we got home, I decided... 'who says Christmas has to be on that day only?' so I planned Christmas for January 25th... I affixed a six foot felt tree cut out on the wall, placed a manger round it's base with wrapped presents. That morning I did everything just as I'd done every Christmas morning... the food was ready to eat, candles lit... the works... The kids didn't even notice it wasn't Christmas... traditional time... or that we didn't have a 'real' tree... for them it was perfect in real time.
So, sometimes, we worry about what, when and how we can achieve something in the amount of time we have and we stress or worry. Modest concern is good of course, but excessive worry can lead to illness and at least a loss of more time. If that is you, just remember, time is constant, never changing no matter how many times we set our clocks forward or back or even delay when we do... so when we get it done or when the expected thing arrives... it will be perfect time. Saying it is too soon or too late or whatever will certainly not change a thing... let us all steadfastly move forward and allow time to work with us rather than we working against time. Love and light... Ms. Milano
Funny thing about time, we operate in perfect time. That year was Y2K year, we raced home for fear we'd not get home if something happened with the Y2K scare. The kids were missing Christmas. We arrived in Holland before landing home in the US... the holiday decorations at that airport were most splendid! Like a fairy tail... kind of lifted the mood for the children, but for me, reminded me of what I was loosing in time. But when we got home, I decided... 'who says Christmas has to be on that day only?' so I planned Christmas for January 25th... I affixed a six foot felt tree cut out on the wall, placed a manger round it's base with wrapped presents. That morning I did everything just as I'd done every Christmas morning... the food was ready to eat, candles lit... the works... The kids didn't even notice it wasn't Christmas... traditional time... or that we didn't have a 'real' tree... for them it was perfect in real time.
So, sometimes, we worry about what, when and how we can achieve something in the amount of time we have and we stress or worry. Modest concern is good of course, but excessive worry can lead to illness and at least a loss of more time. If that is you, just remember, time is constant, never changing no matter how many times we set our clocks forward or back or even delay when we do... so when we get it done or when the expected thing arrives... it will be perfect time. Saying it is too soon or too late or whatever will certainly not change a thing... let us all steadfastly move forward and allow time to work with us rather than we working against time. Love and light... Ms. Milano
What About the Power of Prayer???
A question I am asked about often...
Pprayer is commonly considered an act of spiritual connect to "God" or 'higher power". It is indeed a level of conscious and subconscious communication with a spiritual intent. The key word in the act of prayer that many miss, and consequently don't fully benefit from, is the word COMMUNICATION. Communication is a two way interaction. Message sent... message received... message communicated.
The wonder of prayer is it allows us to PROCESS a need, concern or desire on a universal level, rather than from the level of self. Much like we take our complaints to "the boss", "mom and dad", "the principle"... etc., we take it "beyond ourselves". Taking time to pray humbly centers our focus away from mindless actions and reactions and calls for a moment in time where we can regroup our internal being. Using our soul voice, we send a message, a prayer... "beyond our lower level self" (to some people this is not external) and we wait... sometimes impatiently and so we ask again... lol... but for some of us we wait for a RESPONSE from "beyond our lower level self" (some call this God others "my right mind", "Full awareness" etc.), others, do not wait. In either event, we will respond and we will be subject to the consequences, sometimes seemingly good and sometimes not as we thought it might be.
Remembering to do daily good deeds, it is a prayer of thanksgiving, to offer selflessly to one who is less fortunate in a particular area of their lives. This doesn't have to be a poor person, can even mean you give your time when one is sick... or lacking in some specific area where you can be of greater support. Yes, this is indeed an act of prayer. Taking time out to spontaneously to pray in the simplest form can achieve some of the most fulfilling blessings known, or what I call 'simple blessings' or 'small mercies'... they are to me known as "my morning dew"... where before the world has been awakened to what has happened, I have been blessed. In other words, it may not be showers alone that bring may flowers.
There is no better way to show our appreciation to the 'powers that be', 'God', 'the great spirit', 'all that is life'... etc., than to respect ourselves, unconditionally loving ourselves, through the positive out pouring of that which we took the time to deliver, obedient to the great inner voice of love and light within us all.
Blessed is the one who is blessed by the blessed....
Love and light...
Ms. Milano
Pprayer is commonly considered an act of spiritual connect to "God" or 'higher power". It is indeed a level of conscious and subconscious communication with a spiritual intent. The key word in the act of prayer that many miss, and consequently don't fully benefit from, is the word COMMUNICATION. Communication is a two way interaction. Message sent... message received... message communicated.
The wonder of prayer is it allows us to PROCESS a need, concern or desire on a universal level, rather than from the level of self. Much like we take our complaints to "the boss", "mom and dad", "the principle"... etc., we take it "beyond ourselves". Taking time to pray humbly centers our focus away from mindless actions and reactions and calls for a moment in time where we can regroup our internal being. Using our soul voice, we send a message, a prayer... "beyond our lower level self" (to some people this is not external) and we wait... sometimes impatiently and so we ask again... lol... but for some of us we wait for a RESPONSE from "beyond our lower level self" (some call this God others "my right mind", "Full awareness" etc.), others, do not wait. In either event, we will respond and we will be subject to the consequences, sometimes seemingly good and sometimes not as we thought it might be.
Remembering to do daily good deeds, it is a prayer of thanksgiving, to offer selflessly to one who is less fortunate in a particular area of their lives. This doesn't have to be a poor person, can even mean you give your time when one is sick... or lacking in some specific area where you can be of greater support. Yes, this is indeed an act of prayer. Taking time out to spontaneously to pray in the simplest form can achieve some of the most fulfilling blessings known, or what I call 'simple blessings' or 'small mercies'... they are to me known as "my morning dew"... where before the world has been awakened to what has happened, I have been blessed. In other words, it may not be showers alone that bring may flowers.
There is no better way to show our appreciation to the 'powers that be', 'God', 'the great spirit', 'all that is life'... etc., than to respect ourselves, unconditionally loving ourselves, through the positive out pouring of that which we took the time to deliver, obedient to the great inner voice of love and light within us all.
Blessed is the one who is blessed by the blessed....
Love and light...
Ms. Milano
A Quick Message from me to you...
Life, it is hard. We have all had experiences good and bad alike. While it is wonderful to express the positives, let us not forget that our greatest lessons learned were gained from our negative experiences. I for one know how important it has been for me to incorporate good lessons from my not so good experiences in order to enhance my over all well being. I'd love to gain from the knowledge you've acquired living through both your pains and your gains.
Do all you can to live deliberately. Don't drift but rather realize what is happening to you through out the day. Something is sure to happen that will make you say... "Wow... I never thought of that." Perhaps it will be something you see or read that will offer greater insight to your life. Never discount the negatives life throws your way... buried in the crap lies a life lesson that will prove priceless... so love yourself, love yourself to death so nothing can hate you to death.
Keep your head up. There are things within you that you've been seeking to transform for the better. Commend yourself for your efforts and grant yourself the grace necessary to accomplish the change. Patience, understanding, reminding of one's self are all key things needed to convert old ways into new ways. Remembering to love yourself unconditionally and beyond your sorrows.
This is our journey as much as it is your journey and if along the way you should fall, let it be an opportunity for compassionate understanding, where I or someone able can reach out to you and offer you the support you may need to continue strengthened in your walk.
I do all things passionately and I give great effort to living deliberately. May I always respect, love and honor each of you ... deliberately for our good.
Love and light to you all!
Ms. Rachel Milano
Do all you can to live deliberately. Don't drift but rather realize what is happening to you through out the day. Something is sure to happen that will make you say... "Wow... I never thought of that." Perhaps it will be something you see or read that will offer greater insight to your life. Never discount the negatives life throws your way... buried in the crap lies a life lesson that will prove priceless... so love yourself, love yourself to death so nothing can hate you to death.
Keep your head up. There are things within you that you've been seeking to transform for the better. Commend yourself for your efforts and grant yourself the grace necessary to accomplish the change. Patience, understanding, reminding of one's self are all key things needed to convert old ways into new ways. Remembering to love yourself unconditionally and beyond your sorrows.
This is our journey as much as it is your journey and if along the way you should fall, let it be an opportunity for compassionate understanding, where I or someone able can reach out to you and offer you the support you may need to continue strengthened in your walk.
I do all things passionately and I give great effort to living deliberately. May I always respect, love and honor each of you ... deliberately for our good.
Love and light to you all!
Ms. Rachel Milano
What Stops YOU?
Written: 10/31/2007
Greetings all...
Greetings all...
Been a bit since I've sent out a message... lol... I think I say that often...lol. Any way, I thought I'd leave a message from my many lessons learned in life and hope that it helps you through out your personal journeys as well.
Do you remember the story of the person on the roof top in a flood who prayed to God to save him? Three rescuers went by and shouted out to the man to jump in and the man refused saying his God would save him, and then, when the man drowned and went to heaven God said he sent three rescuers to save him... you all may have heard this story several times, it was even told in the movie, The Pursuit of Happiness. So now I present a twist to a similar story in hopes that we all wash this story out of our minds for good!
Yesterday, a woman wrote into a radio station seeking help because she had been in a relationship where she became an enabler and victim to a man who was a crack addict, and for 20 years he abused her and the kids. I then heard the radio personalities tear into her about how "stupid" she was and pointing out all the things she ALREADY knew and felt PRIOR to writing in. She wrote in for HELP and got ripped into. Then I heard it... you've got to save yourself here!.... and I'm thinking.... WHAT?????????????????????????
Not that there is anything wrong with self reliance, but there comes at time when a person is disabled beyond their personal ability to help themselves and this woman had been drowning in this for 20 years... this situation required more and less than less was given.
So then I'm annoyed because, who the hell are they to say this? I instantly remembered the story of the man on the roof and what I learned from that. Let me change that story for one moment. Let us put this woman on the roof top in the story of the flood, only this time, when she is waiting for help from God... the rescuers think she is nuts and keep moving... which may have been what the rescuers in the first story passing by thought anyway... yet this woman had enough courage to write into the radio station for help, airing her dirty laundry to the whole nation. IF the radio station would have considered itself the true rescuers passing to help her... (and remember, there was plenty of time to plan help for her considering the letter was chosen and responded to prior to being aired on national syndicated radio) then what stopped them from actually helping? They presented the whole "JUMP!!!! OR YOU'LL DROWN" thing yes... but who of them got into the water to swim to the roof to save her? Who of them asked her if she could swim? Who of them that said she was crazy stopped and said... 'hey... wait... something is not right here... maybe we should let her know WE are sent from GOD to help her (if we are sticking to the whole story with the flood)' OR maybe, 'we realize she is unable to help herself simply by the things she says' and then decide to go in after her rather than blame her or laugh at her.
How easy it is for us as a people to stand in judgment of the person in crisis, blaming them for not finding the strength to get out of a situation. You can shout up to a man in a burning building five stories up... JUMP!!!!!! Having no idea that his lungs are filled with smoke which have made him delusional and he can barely hear every other word you speak. When he burns up we say ... 'he should have jumped... we told him to jump... we had a cushion down here for him.' Yet who called the fire and rescue, got the neighbors ladder, went into the building to assess his possibilities of escape, since he may not be in his right mind. It is so easy to judge and blame the victim of any situation. We are slow to judge if we did or are doing our best for the person requesting our help.
Yelling "GET OUT" to a victim is hardly what saves them. Why could that station not have said all they wanted and then say... 'but hey... you know what... even though we think you're crazy for staying with this man for 20 years, we've called the local AL-ANON and they are prepared to accept you into their program and further more, for the next one month, we have set it up for someone to pick you up and take you there. Not to mention, the local women in abuse shelter said they would be willing to help you, so stay on the line and let us see what we can do to turn things around for you.' How HARD would that have been?
I can prove in one thought how easy it would have been... let that man on the roof top or that woman writing in have been their child, young or grown, they wouldn't have thought twice about JUMPING in to rescue them rather than shouting JUMP! Even more... what if it was YOUR child? What would prevented you? FEAR... fear of loosing or spending something within ourselves that we did not plan to or feel the need to. Giving is hard for those who stand in judgment but when we step out of judgment and commit to the fullness of compassion through to the end, we always feel better about ourselves... like we gained more than the sacrifice. Yet... fear of getting involved... fear of needing to commit to helping someone... fear of discovering something about ourselves that we did not want to face or discovering that person may need us to extend ourselves past the crisis... fear of taking the time... and fear of having our help rejected... all this prevents us and so the easiest thing to do is fault them for not saving them selves. Telling someone to save themselves requires little of us and thus we feel no need to commit to involvement, seeing it through.
So through this situation, that radio station sent this kind message to victims across the nation ... If you can't trust that asking for help will get you any help, especially while mentally, physically and or emotionally you are too disabled by your circumstances to free yourself, then perhaps you'll be better off staying put, considering the world will just beat you up and send you back to your pit of destruction, if you dare ask for help. Who wants to be bothered?
I don't know... maybe I am just responding in my own frustration right now, but one thing I know, is we are all accountable for our rights and our wrongs. People don't have to suit our standard of living or belief system to be granted GRACE, mercy or our best efforts in sincere help. That is what I have learned and I hope others can gain from it.
Love and light to you all...
Ms. Rachel E. Milano
"There are no dead ends, only detours... and some are not so scenic." ... Ms. MilanoYou Tube
Greetings One and all...
I know it has been awhile... I could not recall my log in... However, here is my YouTube address for those who would like to visit there... http://www.youtube.com/MsRachelMilano I hope I can continue to offer wisdom's keys to all those who hear. I'll now attempt to post some of the blog messages I have out there in other parts of blog land here in this blog. Love and light to you all...
I know it has been awhile... I could not recall my log in... However, here is my YouTube address for those who would like to visit there... http://www.youtube.com/MsRachelMilano I hope I can continue to offer wisdom's keys to all those who hear. I'll now attempt to post some of the blog messages I have out there in other parts of blog land here in this blog. Love and light to you all...
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